"Because Elsa let it go."
My mom told me that joke! :)
When Ariana was 18 months, she seemed interested in potty training. Being a first time parent, and a behavioral therapist, I researched how to approach potty training and read all the pinterest pins on potty training tips. I bought her a cute potty chair and new underwear. I took a week off work to focus on potty training. Of course, it took longer than a week to be fully potty trained, but she really learned fast, I think. I used to attribute her success to my consistency and wide range of interventions (from videos like "Signing Time Potty Time" and "Elmo's Potty Time" to picture books and visuals and charts and a potty watch timer and a doll (I did not spend $80 on this by the way, I think it was like $20 from Walmart!), special new underwear and funny songs and prizes and giving up diapers cold turkey), as well as to Ari's smarts. I kind of believed my job helped prepare me for this too. I worked with a little boy and was helping to potty train him. He was doing well, but soon became violent when taken to the bathroom. Because we were not at home, I didn't want him to have an accident so bathroom trips were very frequent and he got tired of it. If I wouldn't have been so adamant about timing the bathroom trips, I think we could have been more successful. Poor guy and his poor mom. I wish I would have done better and I feel bad I didn't have more experience before this. It's basically the only thing kids have total control over, besides eating.
I started using cloth diapers with Lily when she was 2 months old because I had just become a stay at home mom and wanted to find ways to save money. I never thought I would use cloth diapers! But, I was willing to try it- to save money, but also because cloth diapers are so cute these days! I had a friend who did it so I thought I would try. Really, the hardest part was researching how to wash them properly. But once I found this website, fluffloveuniversity, that cleared up a lot of confusion because they had already done all the scientific testing and research! So, Lily is 26 months currently and I started introducing her to potty training around 15 months, just because I could tell when she was going number 2 (slightly constipated). I didn't put a lot of pressure on her because she was so young, and I figured that, according to this, I was at least helping her recognize how she feels. She had some success at first. This summer, I decided to really try and potty train her. Summers are great for that because we can be outside more and she can wear summer dresses with nothing underneath, which is what we did with Ari. We used disposable diapers with Lily for some longer outings and for bedtime, so I decided to stop switching back and forth between cloth and disposable because I thought that would confuse her. But, Lily doesn't seem to care. Either she is just used to feeling wet and heavy (cloth diapers are bulkier and a bit heavier than disposables and also don't do as great of a job at wicking away the moisture) or she just isn't ready yet. Ari hates being wet anywhere- even just a tiny bit- so the natural consequence of accidents was enough to motivate her to potty train, I think. Lily had some success for awhile, but lately it seems like she just comes to tell me "I peed" or "I pooped" with no remorse that it was on the ground or in her underwear. She almost sounded proud. Well, at least she is recognizing her bodily functions! Maybe I didn't use all the resources I used with Ari, and maybe I really didn't try hard enough. And maybe the cloth diaper potty training is just a whole other thing. (However, one other way I am thankful I did cloth diapering is because it got me in the habit of cleaning out messy clothes anyway and getting the tools I need to do that efficiently). Tools: spray pal, bidet diaper pail wet/dry bag. I believe everyone should have a bidet- it is great for many things not just spraying out poopy pants.
Whatever the reason it is, and whoever's fault it is - mine, Lily's, cloth diaper's, etc.- Lily is NOT progressing at potty training!
I am pretty stubborn and pretty persistent. Which can be my vice as well as my virtue. This last week, Andrew went and bought some disposable diapers- with my permission. But I would have bought a small pack, but he bought this:
100 count disposable diapers
It was a blessing because I believe I have carpal tunnel in my left wrist. It has become so painful lately that simple tasks like snapping and unsnapping these cute cloth diapers is nearly impossible. My grip strength is decreasing. And Lily drinks A LOT and therefore pees A LOT. I think I changed her cloth diapers 8-12 times a day on average. Do you see the number of hours of absorbency on the package of disposables? 12 hours! That decreases a lot of diaper changes! (I do change her more frequently than 12 hours).
Using disposables has not only saved my hand from some pain throughout my day, it has saved Lily and I from some power struggles. Cloth diapers sometimes leak and when she is wet, she needs to be changed immediately. This is hard for her when she is cold or tired or hungry. Timing is everything and it was a bit stressful. Lily is very different from Ari. She needs her fluffy blanket and sippy cup of milk and she is probably just as stubborn as me- or more. So, I don't know when she will potty train. But, I assume before kindergarten. :)
The sippy cup of milk has become a problem too- she became dependent on it to get her to sleep at nap time and bed time. Her dentist said to stop that last year and now she is due for another check up and I don't want to be that mom that makes the dentist think, "Why didn't she do what I said?"
So, of course, naps and bedtimes have been difficult.
I believe Lily is sent to me to teach me about agency. I tried to get her to go down for a nap at 1 when Ari is still at school so I can get some things done and then wake her up to get her sissy from school. I tried reading to her, laying down with her, listening to music with her, etc. That took a lot of time and my house was getting very messy. Today I read to her, put her in her bed with her fluffy blanket and penguin and went out the door. She can open the door now... I put a door knob cover on the door knob... She pulled that off. I put a different type of door knob cover on her door knob. She pulled that off.... I put a door knob cover plus a sock on the door knob, she pretty much laughed as she pulled that off... I drew a picture with her of things she can do in her room during "quiet time" (sleep, read, play quietly, puzzle). She happily took her picture into her room and then came out a minute later. I tried the Super Nanny trick of calmly but sternly putting her back in bed repetitively without speaking to her. She still came out. This took the entire hour and a half. Then it was time to get Ari from school. She and Lily played with peanut butter play dough and then at 3:30, I found Lily asleep like this:
So sweet!
She napped for an hour, and went to bed at about 9pm.
