So, I had just posted about what I used to do for work before I became a stay-at-home mom and how I felt like I was pretty successful at that job. That is a funny word, success. How do you know if you are successful at something? Truth is, on a day-to-day basis, I probably didn't feel all that successful at my job. If you ask my husband, many tears were shed over this job and often times my cry was something like, "I just don't feel like I'm making any difference!"
There is a difference between motherhood and other occupations (college student, HI therapist, elementary school teacher, etc). In my job as an HI therapist, I had a kind of checklist to follow- called a job description, of course. My duties were laid out pretty clear, I think. And I had my data to look at to tell if the child really was making progress. I also had monthly employee reviews, like I mentioned, and comments from coworkers, parents, and my supervisor. When you are a college student, you have a syllabus that tells you what you are required to do and you earn a grade. There is no job description typed up for the position of motherhood. There is no syllabus for motherhood. No one is grading my mothering. No one is giving me an employee review on my job as a mother. (Well, my four-year-old has given me many informal reviews, but I don't know if I would call her a reliable source when she tells me I am a good mom one day when I let her eat ice cream for lunch and then the next day I am a bad mom because I won't let her watch her favorite movie for the third time that day.) And data? Ha! Who has time to take data? (You may be thinking, "or who cares about taking data?" I am a bit of a nerd, so I like things like that. But, we will talk about data later.)
My point is, there is no real sure way to tell if you are a good mom. (I kinda used to think I was a good mom and then my daughter reached the terrible -but terrific- threes and I realized that her goodness at age 2 could not be completely credited to me.) I also used to think I was doing a pretty good job as a mom, and then I became a mom of 2 and a stay-at-home mom. Just when I start to feel like, "I got this," I am given another challenge. I guess that is the Lord's way of keeping me humble so I will always ask for His help. :)
When I was pregnant with my first, and working as an HI therapist, I remember attending a staff meeting where we were discussing how remaining neutral or emotionally stable in a tense situation with a client is so crucial. I jokingly, but kinda truthfully and naively commented, "Now that I know all this, I am going to be an amazing mom, right?" Several of my coworkers who have children of their own laughed and assured me that it is completely different with your own kids.
While it is true that we treat our own children different from others' children, I believe that the techniques, and psychology behind the techniques, are helpful to any parent and applicable to all children. The more knowledge the better.
That is what I want to focus on in this blog. This will be my little - no, big- experiment. To see if I can approach parenting situations with my own kids in a similar manner in which I would approach situations at work with my clients. I will present the problem or situation I am most currently dealing with, share the techniques and ideas I have learned in my training and study as an HI therapist that are related to that topic, and take action with the technique I think will be most effective, record progress, and report back the success. Does it sound like I am turning my own children into their own case studies? Haha...a little bit, yeah, but it will be more parent-friendly I am hoping, and more of an easier read than the books I had to read for certification. And like, I said earlier, parenting is much different from being a therapist, but that is also a strength.
Wish me luck!
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